Disability and Pursing my Master's Degree- I Feel Alone

In my program, there are three emphases that students can major in: disability studies, higher education, and K-12. In my experience in classes that are not electives for disability studies, disability is not organically mentioned. As I sit in my class, where, for what feels like the 100th time, a speaker came to my class to relate to emphases that are not my emphasis of disability studies, I realized how alone I feel. This week, I want to share what it is like to be the "token disabled student." I want to give a caveat that for one class each semester, I am not the only openly disabled student, but I regularly feel alone in mentioning disability issues.

I have learned a lot in my classes, especially about teaching and being mindful of my racial and ethnic identities, bringing love in the classroom, and being a better researcher. However, when I want to raise awareness about disability, it is on me. In my two classes that were not self-directed, only two articles in total were focused on disability. The two articles got less time than any other unit in the whole class, except for one other topic that was combined with the disability discussion. As a student, I feel as though my lived identity and experiences are less valued than other identities because multiple weeks were spent on different topics including race, cultural communities, whiteness, inequality at large, and research tools. Topics that were giving more time than disability but were still given less time include feminism and queer theory. Using simple addition, education time spent on disability was notably missing.

To be clear, I want to give space for the topics I listed, and learn from others. However, I also want disability to be a large part of my coursework because I am purposely here to get a master's degree with an emphasis in disability studies. If I am not given a disability studies elective, how am I able to learn more about an identity I live with every day? I chose to address this by bringing up disability in other discussions because my experiences follow me wherever I go. However, this is a burden because I am then the only person who can guarantee that disability will be mentioned. While I am happy to share my experiences, I can't reliably find my identity in coursework unless I am doing research and seeking out disability content. I then feel pressure to be intentional about what I share about my experience being disabled, how I share it, and when I share it, because there is no space for me.

If you are a teacher or in any educational position, I ask that disability content enter educational spaces. I wish I had more representation than I do now and did as a kid. I really enjoy when other classmates share their experiences with disability because I feel less alone. I have learned a lot in spaces where disability is openly discussed because I often leave with new things to think about. However, I rarely get those spaces to listen and to learn. As I continue my learning journey, my goal is to speak up and say when I am not included. I am titling my thesis "Include Me" for this very premise.

Thank you for reading about my journey in a master's degree as a disabled person who feels alone. If you have any questions or comments, please comment on the blog, reach out at @Anniekrollblog on Instagram or Facebook, or email me at Anniekrollblog@gmail.com. I hope to see you next week!