Housebound- Flare-Ups, Feelings, and Support Suggestions

I had a flare-up of a condition due to a supplement reaction, and I have been housebound for over a week now. I have been attached to a heating pad, bed, and bathroom close to 24/7 for around 7 days as of writing this. Before that, I was in pain for 4-5 days. I had to miss a wedding and time with friends to be stuck in my bed with my phone, TV, and computer. If I was lucky, I could go out to the dining room to play a board game. This week, I want to talk about the mental health component of feeling trapped and isolated being stuck at home.

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I am what I would now consider an extroverted introvert. I like to go out and be social, but I hit overstimulation limits and then want to go home. But I need some level of socialization to feel "sane". That need for socialization is why I refused to be homeschooled in high school after getting my HSP diagnosis. Now I'm at this point where I don't feel so bad that I can't function. In times when I am at the worst of a flare-up or illness, I feel so bad that I don't really notice my mental health because I am trying to recover. But now, I know what I am missing. I didn't return phone calls and FaceTimes when I wanted to participate and had to turn down events. I missed getting nails done with my mom, shopping trips, a wedding, and a mini family reunion.

Even though it's not my fault, I feel guilty. My parents couldn't get a refund for me for the wedding hotel, and I missed connecting with people. I was supposed to meet someone for the first time, and instead of being engaging, I had just enough energy to say hi on FaceTime once in pajamas before hanging up and not returning any calls. It's hard to explain to non disabled people, or pre disabled people, what being in a flare-up looks like. So I feel guilty for looking like I don't care, when I do care. *Also, a side note, the best way to reach me is always through text.

I feel angry. I am angry because the flare-up is largely supplement-induced. While I trust the person I am working with to guide me through my symptoms, I feel this could have been prevented. How could my body take so long to heal? I lost at least a week of my life to a BRAT diet, old YouTube Videos, naps, and my trusted heating pad. I want to live an active and connected life, and feel extremely isolated instead. I am angry that my body is this "sick" that I am so sensitive to stimuli that non-disabled people (or pre disabled people) are not. I struggle a lot with feeling isolated with both HSP and autism, so this is a hard feeling for me to sit in.

It's not all bad. I am grateful to my family for supporting me and checking in on me. I also haven't really told anyone outside of my family from the wedding I had to cancel what was going on, so I limited my own support. I am also recovering slowly. So, while this experience was challenging, I know I will get through it, and I want to turn it into a positive experience. If you know someone who is disabled in your life who could experience flare-ups, here are some tips to be supportive:

1: If you want to be supportive and bring a gift, don't bring food. Many times, someone could be following a diet you might not know about, and then it's trash. Instead, bring a gift card or a greeting card, offer to clean something, run an errand, or talk in an accessible way.

2: If you want to offer companionship, do so in a way that is best for the person experiencing a flare-up. I wasn't able to stay on a call for long periods of time, so texting was easier for me. Someone else might want a phone call or a visit, depending on how they are feeling.

3: Don't take it personally if someone in a flare-up doesn't have energy to do something with you. There were so many things I wanted to say yes to last week that once I feel better, I will try to do some version of all the activities. I am also looking forward to eating mostly normal food again. I love chicken soup and rice, but I don't know if I love it this much.

4: Respect people's privacy. Sometimes aspects of someone's flare-up can feel vulnerable, personal, and only for close family and health care providers. Please believe disabled people, even if they don't share every aspect of their experiences.

5: Support can look different for different people. If you don't know what someone needs, it is okay to ask, as long as you respect their answer. This way, everyone can have autonomy, respect, and community during an otherwise hard time.

I hope this blog gives a well-rounded insight into my experiences with a flare-up. Flare-ups can look vastly different depending on the condition being exacerbated and the person. Thank you for reading about flare-ups, feelings, and support suggestions. If you have any questions or comments, please comment on the blog, reach out at @Anniekrollblog on Instagram or Facebook, or email me at Anniekrollblog@gmail.com. I hope to see you next week!